Self Perception

Trigger Warning for restrictive eating and/or weight-related-stuff.

Over the past few months, I’ve noticed that people have been telling me that I seem to have lost weight.  Not people who see me often.  Just people who haven’t seen me in a month or two who come back and decide that after saying hello, the next most important thing they can say to me is to remark on my weight.  My therapist, my Spanish teacher, family friends…  I dismissed these observations as being flattery (since for whatever reason “you’ve lost weight” seems to be a flattering thing to say to women over a certain age; I’m not entirely sure why) or yet another of those strange social practices that humans seem to engage in that will forever elude me.  One way or another, I didn’t really take any of these seriously.

But since I’ve been getting this quite a lot, I thought I’d go check, just out of curiosity.  I went through a phase where I wrote down everything I ate and calculated my calorie intake for the day.   I also weighed and measured myself every Sunday morning before breakfast (having it at the same time every week minimised fluctuations).  Since I had these records, I thought I’d weigh and measure myself and compare that to my last recorded weight.  It turns out that I have, in fact, lost several kilograms, and that my wrist circumference is nearly half a centimetre smaller than it was before.  So my self perception that I’d gained weight was flawed.   I wonder what other aspects of my self perception are equally invalid.

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