It was so painful to watch a person I love struggle so much with possibly being a trans male because certain social justice circles tell trans men that accepting and embracing their gender is tantamount to choosing to be oppressors.
A friend was wonderfully sensitive and supportive when I told him about something that was incredibly painful and difficult to talk about. Then later he said, “I’m a straight, cis male and I’m not going to apologise for that” and then looked at me as if he was expecting me to want him to apologise for something that he has no control over.
The person who has had the largest influence on the path I ended up taking with my life was a male teacher. The parent I’m closest to is my father. My younger brother always makes me feel so incredibly lucky to have him in my life.
I simply cannot imagine what my life would look like without those men. They don’t suck at all. My life has been made immeasurably better by the part they’ve played in it.
It was for this statement that I felt I had to unfollow a Facebook friend recently. It wasn’t the only thing that made the absolutely screwball, back-asswards social justice discourse on Facebook unbearable during the week in question, but it was kind of a breaking point with regards to my ability to not say anything about it.
And according to some people, if I were really enlightened about sexism and oppression, or had the right belief system about those things, I’d know I was supposed to take it someway other than at face value, but I’ve never been any good at tests like that, where I fail some ideological standard by taking people seriously for what they say.
And according to certain formats of discourse about feminism and privilege and stuff, it isn’t supposed to bother me. But it does, and this is only part of the reason why.
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