Friend Love

Friend Love

I’m seventeen.  A lot of my classmates are experimenting with relationships, with the idea of love, and I am too.  I’ve been in love (or so I think, anyways), but there have been moments where I was drawn to someone but it didn’t feel quite the same.  Was it love?  Was it friendship?  I didn’t know.  Then I came across this comic and it described my experience so completely that I knew in that instant, that I’d finally found the word for what I was experiencing.  So I thought I’d share it here, because it’s a really cute comic and it meant something to me and maybe it will mean something to you.

Letting Go

One of the hardest things in life is letting go.  It’s something we all need to do at some point, but that doesn’t make it any easier.

A friend of mine recently entered into a relationship that is already showing signs of being abusive.  I and several others have pointed out our concerns to him, and although he agrees that the relationship is problematic, he doesn’t want to leave because he still loves his significant other very much.

Although I’ve never been in a relationship, much less an abusive one, I have faced situations in which even though I knew it was best for me to let go, I didn’t want to.

“Don’t give up”, “you only fail when you stop trying”, “nothing is impossible”… Our society constantly tells us that nothing is beyond us and that no matter what the situation we’re facing, we should never back down, never let go.  It’s easy to see the appeal of the idea.  And indeed if we gave up as soon as things got hard, we’d never go anywhere.  However, it’s equally important to know when it is a good idea to give up, and it happens sometimes.

It’s not so very hard to let go of something we know to be impossible.  What’s hard is letting go of the very small chance that you might have succeeded.  Turning your back on something that is actually possible is hard to justify to yourself, but it’s something we have to learn to do.

It amazes me just how much I’m willing to sacrifice for the smallest chance at something that’s really important to me.  My happiness, self esteem etc.  All for the tiniest glimmer of hope that I might have succeeded.  At some point, I think I really need to learn that if just trying for something that isn’t likely is going to cause me to lose a lot of important things, I need to let go.  But it still feels too much like giving up.  But the hardest thing to learn, and one of the most important, is when to let go of an achievable dream

I’m seventeen, and that means I’m having to decide on what I want to do for the rest of my life.  On one hand, I have my dreams of being a veterinarian, dreams of spending the rest of my life doing something I love and am passionate about.  On the other hand, I have to look at the very real possibility of not being able to find a job once I graduate, and the near-certainty that in this profession, I will not earn as much money as I would being, say, a doctor, which is what my parents want me to do.  I think I have a fair chance at getting into veterinary school, and to give that all up for money and job security seems ridiculous, but even so, it’s hard to say that following my dreams is going to be the best thing for me.  Situations like this are the worst, because although letting go might be wise, the self-doubts, the “what-ifs” will continue to haunt me.

In the end, it all comes down to one big question.  When do we let go and how?  And I don’t have any answers.