Valentine’s Day

This post has no focus.  Whatsoever.  You have been warned.

I’m probably the last person on Earth who should be writing about Valentine’s Day, considering that I’ve never been looked at by a guy, much less had someone to celebrate a very relationship-oriented holiday with.  That said, it being my blog and all, I’m going to say my $0.02 worth anyways.

Around Valentine’s Day, I see people around me giving gifts to their significant others… There are a lot of chocolates, flowers, special dinners.  It seems people feel somehow more compelled to be nice to their significant other on this one day, but why not let them know how special they are to you every day?  Why not be spontaneous and pick a random day to do something special and fun?  Show up on their doorstep with chocolates and a good movie on a cold January morning, or bring them flowers and take them to an amusement park on a sunny day in July.  I’m not saying that celebrating Valentine’s Day with a loved one is bad, but celebrating one day doesn’t mean it’s okay to not make your relationship a priority the other 364.25 days of the year, which is what too many people seem to do.

Enough about relationships…  If you’re like me and chronically single on this holiday where it feels like everyone around you has found someone, know that being single doesn’t mean you’re unloveable.  Go out and celebrate your freedom, and spend the day showing yourself how special you are.  Or spend the day complaining about how love is overrated.  Whatever works for you.

I kind of wanted to end with something written by Sam at mommadeankat.tumblr.com because she says it better than I ever could.

Hey fellow aces and to all on the romantic spectrum.

You are not weird and there is nothing wrong with you if you don’t have a Valentine this Friday (or any day really). I know that day gets really uncomfortable for a lot of people in our spectrums due to the BLAST OF SEX AND ROMANCE everywhere even more than usual and everyone going around all up in everyone’s biz about who’s dating and why aren’t you. Not to mention a million other things that make us uncomfortable on this day. Shoosh people who feel pity for you if you’re single. Dating actually isn’t the most important thing in the universe. Don’t let anyone try and pressure you into doing anything you’re not comfortable with (this goes to everyone tbh). To heck with people who make fun of you for not wanting a sexual/romantic relationship. A romantic/sexual/etc relationship isn’t for everyone. It really isn’t. You deserve respect for your choices and your orientation and your label and your comfort.

Also, Valentine’s can be about platonic love for our friends and people we have squishes on etc. I don’t think that kind of love gets enough attention.

Celebrate or don’t. And to everyone please respect others.

Regardless eat lots of yummy food!

Friend Love

Friend Love

I’m seventeen.  A lot of my classmates are experimenting with relationships, with the idea of love, and I am too.  I’ve been in love (or so I think, anyways), but there have been moments where I was drawn to someone but it didn’t feel quite the same.  Was it love?  Was it friendship?  I didn’t know.  Then I came across this comic and it described my experience so completely that I knew in that instant, that I’d finally found the word for what I was experiencing.  So I thought I’d share it here, because it’s a really cute comic and it meant something to me and maybe it will mean something to you.

Letting Go

One of the hardest things in life is letting go.  It’s something we all need to do at some point, but that doesn’t make it any easier.

A friend of mine recently entered into a relationship that is already showing signs of being abusive.  I and several others have pointed out our concerns to him, and although he agrees that the relationship is problematic, he doesn’t want to leave because he still loves his significant other very much.

Although I’ve never been in a relationship, much less an abusive one, I have faced situations in which even though I knew it was best for me to let go, I didn’t want to.

“Don’t give up”, “you only fail when you stop trying”, “nothing is impossible”… Our society constantly tells us that nothing is beyond us and that no matter what the situation we’re facing, we should never back down, never let go.  It’s easy to see the appeal of the idea.  And indeed if we gave up as soon as things got hard, we’d never go anywhere.  However, it’s equally important to know when it is a good idea to give up, and it happens sometimes.

It’s not so very hard to let go of something we know to be impossible.  What’s hard is letting go of the very small chance that you might have succeeded.  Turning your back on something that is actually possible is hard to justify to yourself, but it’s something we have to learn to do.

It amazes me just how much I’m willing to sacrifice for the smallest chance at something that’s really important to me.  My happiness, self esteem etc.  All for the tiniest glimmer of hope that I might have succeeded.  At some point, I think I really need to learn that if just trying for something that isn’t likely is going to cause me to lose a lot of important things, I need to let go.  But it still feels too much like giving up.  But the hardest thing to learn, and one of the most important, is when to let go of an achievable dream

I’m seventeen, and that means I’m having to decide on what I want to do for the rest of my life.  On one hand, I have my dreams of being a veterinarian, dreams of spending the rest of my life doing something I love and am passionate about.  On the other hand, I have to look at the very real possibility of not being able to find a job once I graduate, and the near-certainty that in this profession, I will not earn as much money as I would being, say, a doctor, which is what my parents want me to do.  I think I have a fair chance at getting into veterinary school, and to give that all up for money and job security seems ridiculous, but even so, it’s hard to say that following my dreams is going to be the best thing for me.  Situations like this are the worst, because although letting go might be wise, the self-doubts, the “what-ifs” will continue to haunt me.

In the end, it all comes down to one big question.  When do we let go and how?  And I don’t have any answers.

A Quote I’d Like To Share

A former teacher shared this quote with me and I decided to put it here.  I don’t know who the original author is, so it’s not credited, but it’s not mine, either.

“Life is full of imperfect things and imperfect people. I’m not the best at hardly anything, and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like everyone else. What I’ve learned over the years, is that learning to accept each others faults and choosing to celebrate each other’s differences, is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship. Life is too short to wake up with regrets. Love the people who treat you right and have compassion for the ones who don’t.”